We live in an ever-changing world of circumstances that are often beyond our control. If you are anything like me there are times when I try to control everything around me as a way of creating a sense of security. When I do this I create a high level of stress for myself and those around me. I need to remind myself that as circumstances change I must continuously adapt in order to stay balanced, healthy and fulfilled in my life.
When I start micro managing I become neurotic and anxiety ridden. This goes for my relationships as well. I cannot control other people but I can make choices for myself that contribute to my own well-being.
Why am I telling you this? Well, in order to adapt we often are faced with a period of vulnerability. A time when we feel uncertain, fragile and even afraid. When life or people in our life throw us a curve ball we have a choice. We can work and struggle to maintain the status quo and most likely experience a feeling of futility or we can endure the vulnerability of adaptation. Adaptation occurs when we allow ourselves to accept our current circumstances, let go of trying to control our outer world and realize that we will survive regardless of what’s happening. When we allow this to happen we build our resiliency and our confidence increases. This is a life skill we all need to develop not only within ourselves but also within our children.
If we don’t endure the feeling of vulnerability associated with adaptation then we stunt our growth and can become stuck in a cycle of constant frustration and even anger.
We see this dynamic in our communities where people become stuck in a cycle of being angry, always trying to maintain the status quo, afraid to change or not believing in their own ability to do so. Often these folks have patterns of behaviors that get them what they want but not necessarily what they need. Lateral Violence often shows up as a form of behavior that maintains the status quo! A way of controlling out circumstances.
So….practice enduring being vulnerable so that we can build our capacity to adapt. Help others do the same. Sometimes we just need to be there for each other as we work through things to a place of acceptance. We don’t need to make it better for each other or to rescue each other. True empowerment comes when we allow each other to experience those things that are difficult and as a result grow from it. This requires letting go of the familiar and allowing we to enter the unknown. It can feel scary at times. It takes great courage to allow ourselves to feel vulnerable and enter the unknown but this is a place of great potential. We have the ability to empower each other in this way.
This week look for opportunities to enter the unknown, find the courage to be vulnerable and allow yourself to adapt and grow. It’s a natural and healthy process.
