In society today we move so quickly, we often forget how important it is to feel heard. We listen selectively to the things that we can most easily respond and react to those things that invoke the strongest cognitive response.
We are like passing ships in the night. We all want to be heard but none of us are taking the time to listen. We too often miss the deeper message in what someone is saying. Our hopes, fears, dreams, disappointments, and longings live under the surface and are not explicitly expressed in our daily conversations. We must tune in at a deeper level if we are to truly hear each other in a way that will create greater understanding and collaboration. One of my favorite elders told me….”the longest journey, you will ever take is the one from your head to your heart”. I believe her. I know for myself that some things can only be heard with our hearts and our intuition. Have you ever been talking with someone and felt strongly that they were not saying something. That something was wanting to be spoken but could not find it’s way to the surface? Well, you were probably right and if you can find a way to name that “something” that’s unspoken in a way that is validating to another you are sure to create a new level of trust in that relationship.
It’s the thing that is unspoken that wants to be known. What we can articulate easily is often a distraction for what is not being said. Next time you are listening take the time to slow down to listen at a deeper level and use these questions as a guide…
- What is not being said right now?
- What is my intuition telling me about what is important to this person right now?
- What is the underlying message that is unspoken?
- How might I respond to what is not being said but wants to be acknowledged?
- What does my heart tell me about this person and what they are saying?
The Medicine of Deep Listening is a good reminder
